Bahl Gorm & Frattey
by Jacquelyn Wells
Copyright 2004
CHARACTERS
Lauren Wood, F, 30 - 50: Treasurer of Writers'
Club, Legal
Secretary and has published some short stories and poems
Oliver Dawkins, M, 50 - 70: President of Writers' Club, makes
his
living as a writer, is published playwright and screenwriter
Chandler Ellison, M, 30 - 60: Secretary of Writers' Club, an
accountant and is an unpublished writer
Aurora Zeal, F, 50 - 70: Long time member of the Writers' Club,
retired and is a published poet
Catherine Dawkins, F, 20 - 40: Oliver's wife and is not a writer
though sometimes she pretends to be
Jonty Grey, M, 30 - 60 : Lawyer in Santa Rosa and Lauren's
boyfriend - the same actor can play Oliver Dawkins and Jonty Grey
SETTING
Restaurant in the redwoods near a river
TIME
The beginning of the 21st Century.
SCENE 1
(As the audience enters, they are greeted as members of the Redwood
Writers Club. There is also a sign announcing a meeting of the
Redwood Writers’ Club. Actors should be able to be heard
all over the restaurant whether they are in the bar or restaurant.
The play will begin after the audience is all in and meals< are
being served. Comments can be made about the officers always being
late. All actors must do some quiet small talk at certain times
during the play to cover any lull, but not to detract from anything
important. Chandler can handle all the cue cards for the audience
members’ lines and cue them and the bartender, waiters and
host as well, if necessary.) Chandler Ellison enters the restaurant
with his paperwork, to take notes of the meeting, and with a copy
of his latest story.
CHANDLER ELLISON
(to host or hostess of restaurant) Evening Mark. Is Dawkins here?
Host helps him with his coat
HOST
No, Oliver’s not here yet. You’re the second officer.
The Vice President is already seated. Relax, go on and get seated;
the food’s already being served. Karen will come take your
drink order.
CHANDLER ELLISON
Whew! Thanks Mark.
Chandler goes to the table and the bartender comes
our for his drink order
CHANDLER ELLISON
Hello Karen. Can I have a Manhattan up please? I’m doing
research! The main character in my new story drinks Manhattans.
I really think I’ve finally got a story that I can get published.
(he continues to make small talk with the bartender and others
around about his latest story)
BARTENDER
That’s great Chandler.
Lauren Wood enters with her paperwork, treasury
report, and the synopsis of her novel.
LAUREN WOOD
(to the host)
Hi Mark. Am I the last one here?
HOST
No, you’re the third, Chandler and the Vice President are
here.
Host helps her with coat
LAUREN WOOD
Oh dear, we’re all late again. This is getting to be a problem
when the officers can’t make it on time. Thank you.
Enters the restaurant
LAUREN WOOD
Oh, Chandler I’m so glad you’re here. Oh, hello Karen.
I’ll have white wine, please. Canyon Road Sauvignon Blanc.
I’ve just found out something terrible.
Bartender goes to the bar
CHANDLER ELLISON
What?
LAUREN WOOD
You know my novel, the one I’ve been working on for two years.
CHANDLER ELLISON
I know you’ve been writing one for ages.
LAUREN WOOD
Two years is not a long time. Anyway, I just tried to shop it
as a screenplay and guess what I found out.
CHANDLER ELLISON
What?
LAUREN WOOD
Someone has swiped my idea and has already sold my story as a
screenplay,with a $300,000 advance to write it!
CHANDLER ELLISON
What a coincidence!
LAUREN WOOD
It is not a coincidence! My agent, Brian Lawrence, knows the agent
who bought it and when I presented Brian with my idea, he said
it had already been done. Word for word.
CHANDLER ELLISON
Then the other person had the idea first.
LAUREN WOOD
(shows her copy of the
synopsis)
No, it’s my novel. The one I’ve been writing for two
years. I have proof: Brian even has a copy of this synopsis in
his files.
CHANDLER ELLISON
So why didn’t he contact you as soon as he heard someone
else was using your plot?
LAUREN WOOD
He didn’t remember.
CHANDLER ELLISON
What a shame!
LAUREN WOOD
Believe me that agent is really ecstatic to have sold such a fantastic
concept.
CHANDLER ELLISON
If you do say so yourself.
LAUREN WOOD
No, my agent said ... Oh, never mind. I’ve got to find out
who stole my idea. I’m meant to write this screenplay.
CHANDLER ELLISON
How come your agent, Mr. Brian Lawrence, doesn’t know who
stole it? Doesn’t know who is writing this screenplay. What
good is having an agent?
LAUREN WOOD
Brian’s a good agent! The other agent won’t tell him.
I know it’s got to be somebody in Redwood Writers. No one
else would have been able to get a hold of my synopsis and present
it word for word.
CHANDLER ELLISON
And whom do you suspect?
LAUREN WOOD
I don’t know. It’s got to be someone who is already
an established screenwriter or playwright to get that kind of
money.
CHANDLER ELLISON
That narrows the field.
LAUREN WOOD
Oliver? I don’t think he’d do that. Would he?
CHANDLER ELLISON
(shrugs)
Everyone is capable of anything, including Mr. Oliver Dawkins.
Even if you find out who did it, what are you going to do?
LAUREN WOOD
What do you mean, what am I going to do? Make him stop, give me
the money, and let me write it.
CHANDLER ELLISON
(laughs)
And how are you going to do that? You can’t claim copyright
on an idea. Anyone can take another’s idea, it just isn’t
very ethical.
LAUREN WOOD
Hell no, it isn’t ethical.
Oliver Dawkins and his wife, Catherine
make a dramatic entrance at this point.
OLIVER DAWKINS
Good evening Mark. Good evening everyone.
HOST
Good evening Mr. Dawkins, how are you?
OLIVER DAWKINS
Perfectly wonderful. He divests himself of his coat and hands
it with Catherine’s grandly to the host.
OLIVER DAWKINS
There you are, my man.
~that's all - just a bit~
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